Honoring Loved Ones: Creative Ways to Memorialize and Celebrate Life After Loss
In this heartfelt conversation, Jock and Denise Mack explore the profound journey of grief following the loss of Denise's husband, Jeff. Denise shares her experiences of coping with loss, the signs she feels from Jeff, and how she has honored his memory through community support and creative expressions. The discussion emphasizes the importance of acceptance, storytelling, and the ongoing journey of healing, encouraging listeners to find ways to memorialize their loved ones and embrace their grief as a path to personal growth.
Transcript
Good morning, good evening, or good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, wherever you are in the
Speaker:world. This is Jock here. This is Pillars and Grief. And
Speaker:I'm delighted. Today is different. I'm delighted. I've actually
Speaker:got one of the members of my community
Speaker:who has been grieving for several years, and I thought it would
Speaker:be a great experience to bring her
Speaker:on to talk a little bit about her experiences and
Speaker:also how she's memorialized her lost,
Speaker:which is a fabulous way of what
Speaker:she's actually done. And we'll talk a little bit about how
Speaker:she's grown through this grief journey in the
Speaker:hopes that people that listen to
Speaker:my friend from our group will realize
Speaker:that grief is nothing to be frightened of, and it's something that
Speaker:can actually be a good
Speaker:path to development. So welcome Denise
Speaker:Mac from Pillars of Grief. How are you? I'm
Speaker:okay. I'm doing good. So let's talk a
Speaker:little bit about your loss without obviously,
Speaker:you know, trying not. I mean, forget emotional. Get emotional, but that's one of these
Speaker:things. But, you know, let us know a little bit about your loss and how
Speaker:it kind of hit you when it
Speaker:first happened. So, like, three years ago
Speaker:in November, me and my husband, Jeff, we both got Covid at
Speaker:the same time, and we were dealing with it at home together,
Speaker:and he seemed fine, that, you know, everything was gonna
Speaker:turn out good and we both were going to recover. And then
Speaker:one night, he just took a turn for the worse, and he thought he was
Speaker:going to go to the hospital for the infusion therapy.
Speaker:I stayed home because I wasn't feeling good. And he went himself.
Speaker:He actually drove himself to the hospital, and I
Speaker:just said, I'll see you in a couple hours, you know. Then all of a
Speaker:sudden, he was calling me, telling me they admitted him,
Speaker:and, you know, they couldn't give him the infusion therapy. He was in
Speaker:that hospital for, like a week. He was trying to breathe. It
Speaker:got worse, but he was eating and everything, and I never thought
Speaker:anything. And then
Speaker:one night, he took a turn for the worst, and they had to put him
Speaker:in icu. And they told me that, you know, he had a hard time that
Speaker:night. So after that,
Speaker:they said they had to put him on the ventilator, and I wasn't expecting
Speaker:that. And I said, I don't want you on the ventilator, because I heard not
Speaker:so good things. And they said, well, it's either that
Speaker:or he might not make it. And I actually talked to him on
Speaker:the phone, and he didn't try to not go on the
Speaker:Ventilator. So to me, it's something that he needed. And I wanted to
Speaker:transfer out of the hospital here to like, I thought maybe a better hospital.
Speaker:And he went to that hospital because they had ECMO there.
Speaker:So the doctor said if he gets accepted and he needs
Speaker:the ECMO treatment, which is the transfer of the blood,
Speaker:to give him a chance, then he wanted him to go to the hospital too.
Speaker:So he went to the hospital there, but he was on the ventilator the whole
Speaker:time, and he was getting better. I was getting different reports every
Speaker:day. I was getting better and he was recovering and he
Speaker:was probably going to get off the ventilator. And then
Speaker:like three weeks later, I got the call that to come
Speaker:to the hospital. And so I went to the hospital. I had his son
Speaker:come, my son, his brother. And we had people
Speaker:come there from our family and we didn't know what was going on.
Speaker:And he was over Covid and.
Speaker:But he got sepsis. So that's really what happened in the
Speaker:end. The whole experience. I'm not, you know,
Speaker:downplaying anybody that had a loved one, like, pass away
Speaker:from anything else, but this whole experience with this was not
Speaker:expected. And I felt for the first year or so
Speaker:that maybe there was something I could have done differently or
Speaker:I could have, you know, maybe try to stop him from
Speaker:going to the hospital or something. But my
Speaker:realization was it was his time and there's
Speaker:nothing that I could have done about that. Hi, thank you for joining me
Speaker:here today. Make sure that you subscribe to the
Speaker:podcast if you are interested in anything that I have to teach. If you
Speaker:want to learn more, make sure you ask questions below
Speaker:in the comments and I'll make sure to answer them.
Speaker:Come back regularly because I teach many different
Speaker:subjects to do with grief, spiritual development and
Speaker:spiritual crisis. So make sure. Subscribe below.
Speaker:I'm so glad you said that. That's so important because
Speaker:there's a great. There's a great
Speaker:problem, I think, in people that gone through a grief journey is everybody and
Speaker:for everybody is even in our group, they always think they could have done
Speaker:more. And even my wife losing,
Speaker:as you know, I like yourself, lost lots of people this year,
Speaker:last year than this year. And you always think you could
Speaker:do more. But there's some comfort in
Speaker:realizing and I think it's brilliant that you've come to that point where you've accepted
Speaker:it and said, okay, it was his time. And I think that is such
Speaker:a transformational aspect to recognize that.
Speaker:And he was the kind of person that since I've met him. He said, you
Speaker:know, we're only here a short time. This is not home.
Speaker:Home is over there. And I don't know if he just had an
Speaker:inkling, maybe his life would be shorter or, you know, he
Speaker:just felt home was over there. And I was at peace with that, you know,
Speaker:like, that he thought that way. And I
Speaker:actually feel closer to him now than when he was here. We were just
Speaker:so busy all the time. He was working late all the time,
Speaker:and he Taking care of people. And now I just feel like he's
Speaker:always with me and he's helping me with things. I do
Speaker:honor him. From day one, we. His birthday's in
Speaker:July. Every July, I get family and friends together at the beach that he
Speaker:loved. And we all. You've sent us some photos in the group and things like
Speaker:that where you've been celebrating barbecues and this. That's
Speaker:awesome. Yeah, we all get together at the beach, and we just hang out for
Speaker:the day at the beach and just like, kind of party and celebrate him.
Speaker:And we've been doing that since, like, the first summer. Now, let
Speaker:me ask you this. Did you ever. Because one of the things that people
Speaker:maybe don't understand is they think that their loved ones are
Speaker:gone. Right. And whether it's bound by
Speaker:any religious perceptions or even societal
Speaker:perceptions, there's an element. There's. Many people think that once
Speaker:they're gone, they've gone. And of course, there's materialist scientists that kind of think that
Speaker:as well. But did you feel in your heart that
Speaker:he was not gone? Because it wasn't long after you started
Speaker:getting little signs of his presence?
Speaker:It was. Let me rephrase that. Did you find that
Speaker:first? Because I know the physical loss, when we miss someone
Speaker:physically, it's terrible. It's terrible for us all
Speaker:emotionally. And there's an element where we do feel that loss. But
Speaker:did you feel that said he's gone, and it took you a while maybe to
Speaker:get into that? No, he's closer. I feel him. Or
Speaker:did you know straight away? Well, he was a
Speaker:big presence here. And he, I
Speaker:believe, is still a big presence where he is. And he tried to get
Speaker:in touch with me. I had called a psychic, actually, and I
Speaker:left a message with the secretary, like, a month later after he passed away.
Speaker:And the secretary never got back to me. So I was putting away Christmas
Speaker:things in the. In the cabinet. And he was a big Christmas person.
Speaker:And I'm sitting there thinking, like, oh, you know, it's just terrible. You're not
Speaker:here. All of a sudden, I get a phone call from the psychic himself.
Speaker:And he said, I know you left a message with my secretary, and she
Speaker:didn't get back to you, but I'm getting this nudge to call you. Like, I
Speaker:have to call you and give you a message. And he said, I have
Speaker:time right now if you want to do a reading. And I said, really? I
Speaker:said, okay. It was like nighttime during the week, and I. I didn't make an
Speaker:appointment. And the psychic came through with him and gave
Speaker:me, like, validation that he is still around. He
Speaker:pointed to something. He said to me, you know, you have
Speaker:something on your fireplace, and it's like
Speaker:a snow globe. And I said, yes, that is right
Speaker:there on the fireplace. I just got it from my son because it was a
Speaker:village by this fireplace where. Because my husband was big with making
Speaker:villages around the tree, and he was known for that. And he pointed
Speaker:that out. And I just knew he was always around me. Like, he tried to
Speaker:get in touch with me. I went to. After I went to
Speaker:Nashville, me and my sister saw two orange butterflies fly by our
Speaker:faces. And then I kept seeing butterflies after that.
Speaker:The first Christmas, because of you, actually, we had that meeting
Speaker:with the widow group, and you said to buy a gift
Speaker:from them. And I bought a little charm with a butterfly from him. And I
Speaker:opened it Christmas morning. I have that.
Speaker:I love that you did that. Yeah, I did that. I
Speaker:was in the car one time praying to him, and I look
Speaker:over, and a car went past me, and it had his name, Jeff,
Speaker:on the license plate. And things like that,
Speaker:like, keep happening lights. When I go out, I go to, like, his
Speaker:favorite places to eat, and lights over me are flashing. They're
Speaker:blinking. His. His are good friends. I go
Speaker:to their house by the beach or. Or out with them. Songs come
Speaker:on the radio that they know, like, you know, or like, the lights
Speaker:flash. Their TV pops on. I know he's always
Speaker:around me. Do you ever get to the
Speaker:point where you question yourself, is
Speaker:this real? Is he real? Because I know a lot of people do. And
Speaker:to the point, is he really communicating with me, or is
Speaker:it just my mind? Or do you know deep in your heart? No, that was
Speaker:for me. And I understand that. I know
Speaker:deep in my heart it's him because I feel it. I feel the connection. And
Speaker:I know that he was the type of person that would try to let
Speaker:us know he's around. And he loved his family and friends so
Speaker:much that I know he's always with us, whatever we're doing.
Speaker:And so I never questioned it. I always had faith in that.
Speaker:Now there's a big thing that I always teach, and I think I've said this
Speaker:many times to tell stories. And
Speaker:I get the feeling that you guys are big storytellers. And so do you
Speaker:sit with your friends and talk about him still?
Speaker:Oh, my God. Or do they find it difficult to talk about him?
Speaker:In the very beginning, it was kind of hard, but
Speaker:now we just talk about it when we get together. There were so many stories
Speaker:when he was here of things going on, and we constantly bring them
Speaker:up, and it's just we talk about them all the time.
Speaker:I often say, I'm going to ask you this as well. I often say to
Speaker:people, no matter if I'm sitting, doing readings for someone
Speaker:or a group or family, whatever it is, I talk about the power of storytelling.
Speaker:Bio. I always ask people to tell me their
Speaker:funniest story that they have of them,
Speaker:because some people find it very difficult if their loved one has been ill
Speaker:or if their loved one has gone. And with COVID it was
Speaker:almost like a biblical plague. It just came down from nothing. And then
Speaker:so many people passed. Yeah. And so many people
Speaker:gone. And we kind of lose. We feel disconnected and we
Speaker:lose that connection. But I think storytelling and doing things, it
Speaker:makes it really funny. So share with people out
Speaker:there one of the funniest things you can remember about
Speaker:him that might even help them to jog their memory
Speaker:to think about something funny that helped about their loved one.
Speaker:There are so many stories, especially with him growing up. I wasn't around
Speaker:him growing up, but his best friends know his stories, and they're all
Speaker:hysterical out at the clubs and everything. Stuff that he has done.
Speaker:He was hysterical in himself, and I can't
Speaker:pinpoint just one, but he was just somebody
Speaker:that, you know, you knew he was in the room when he was there. You
Speaker:know what I mean? He was always a jokester. You never knew if he was
Speaker:some, you know, whatever he said was true because he would
Speaker:keep, like, a face like that was like, you know, stoic. And then he
Speaker:would be like, laughing like, oh, you don't believe that, do you? You know, so
Speaker:he always did stuff like that. And
Speaker:the memories just flow, like when we're all together, you know what I mean? And
Speaker:like, like, like different stories come up with different people.
Speaker:But do you feel that you have
Speaker:grown on your grief journey? I
Speaker:definitely feel I've grown on my grief journey. I try to live
Speaker:for this lifetime that we have.
Speaker:I try to Be kinder to people, and I try to help people.
Speaker:Um, he was big believer in helping all kind of people
Speaker:and being there for everyone, and he kind of taught me that too.
Speaker:And so I kind of live through him like that. I try to do things
Speaker:for him that he would have done. So I think I have
Speaker:definitely grown. You know, I look at myself more and see
Speaker:what I can improve on to be a better person.
Speaker:You know, I think I definitely have grown for like the three years.
Speaker:And obviously when you came and joined pillars
Speaker:of grief or community, did that
Speaker:help you in any way to be part of a community that
Speaker:was on the same journey as you? That definitely helped me.
Speaker:I have so much support too, with, like, family and friends that
Speaker:I don't know that I couldn't do without it. But the
Speaker:group, the COVID widows group, have helped me tremendously from the
Speaker:beginning because I couldn't believe there was other. So many other people, people that
Speaker:went through the same thing as me. You know, you just,
Speaker:like, you think at first, like, you're the only one like that, like, why did
Speaker:this happen? And feel alone. You feel alone. And
Speaker:that that group has helped me tremendously. I know how grief and spiritual
Speaker:crisis can affect you. I've been on that
Speaker:journey for many, many years. And if you've got any
Speaker:questions about grief, about spiritual
Speaker:crisis, about. About spiritual development, then leave them below,
Speaker:because I answer every question. And
Speaker:I invite you, if you would like, support in your grief
Speaker:journey, to join my private community, you can find that link below.
Speaker:And if you want to work with me one to one, then you can also
Speaker:find that link below. Don't forget to subscribe to
Speaker:the channel, and I look forward to connecting with you soon.
Speaker:Have you ever
Speaker:in community, often you have people that. You've got a
Speaker:support network, you've got people that support you, but also you've got people that
Speaker:are frightened of facing. Have you come across that as well? They're kind of
Speaker:frightened to face grief or they're frightened to face the loss or even
Speaker:talk to you about the loss. For
Speaker:a while I just felt like some people maybe didn't know how to approach
Speaker:me and they just ignored it. And it felt like it
Speaker:felt like it didn't matter, maybe, or they're over it or something
Speaker:like that. But as I've grown, I realize people don't know what
Speaker:to say. They don't want to upset you, you know what I mean?
Speaker:Or say the wrong thing, because there's a lot of
Speaker:triggers, you know, during grief. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:Yeah. So there are a mixture of people like that even within my
Speaker:family. But for the most part, I tremendously
Speaker:had support that, like I said, I couldn't do without that.
Speaker:Have you been able to feel that you can express yourself? Because a lot
Speaker:of people that I speak to and a lot of people that contact me.
Speaker:In fact, we've just got a new member in the group now who's, you
Speaker:know, doesn't. Her name. Actually, she'll probably tell
Speaker:her stories as well. Lustine, who's in our group.
Speaker:She and others face
Speaker:negativities as such in their community because people
Speaker:are terrified, don't know what to say to them or tell them that
Speaker:they kind of downplay the grief. They downplay it.
Speaker:And there's an element where people don't understand
Speaker:what you're going through and you feel that you can't express
Speaker:yourself. So we have members that have been
Speaker:part of our group, people that I know that they're
Speaker:terrified to express themselves because they feel as if they're going to be
Speaker:judged. Is that anything that you went through on your. I mean,
Speaker:we're all still on the journey. You're never going to go off a journey. But
Speaker:do you feel that at the beginning you felt you
Speaker:were held back? You couldn't express yourself because you maybe felt
Speaker:you don't know how other people are going to take it, or they didn't know
Speaker:how you were. You were going to take it? Yes. Have you got to a
Speaker:point now where you just express it? Definitely. I've had certain
Speaker:people that I just kind of downplayed it
Speaker:and just cried to myself, you know what I mean? Because
Speaker:I was afraid to either get them really upset
Speaker:themselves or I didn't want to put them in an uncomfortable situation.
Speaker:The other ones were people maybe more close to me
Speaker:and they kind of understood. For me, it's
Speaker:like me and him had such a. You know, Jeff had such a great love
Speaker:that sometimes I felt like people didn't understand that
Speaker:maybe didn't have that in their life or something like that, or they didn't understand
Speaker:us as a couple. So they kind of didn't understand my grief
Speaker:as that as it was or what I was going through.
Speaker:But you have to just kind of be yourself and let it out, I think,
Speaker:and just. That's a great thing to. That's a great thing that you've
Speaker:said. And I would say anybody listening out there, don't be afraid
Speaker:to express your grief in any way. I'm not
Speaker:afraid. I mean, I. When I lost my mother in law I
Speaker:bawled like a baby when I was in
Speaker:Starbucks. So you never, never
Speaker:be afraid of it. And I'm glad that you said that. I know I mortify
Speaker:my mother. One day she was asking me to go to a store and that's.
Speaker:I forced myself to go to a lot of places that we have been.
Speaker:And that's the way I've grown too, because I am able to go there
Speaker:now. But this one I won't go to. We went there all the time. And
Speaker:she said, go to this place. And I said, I can't do it. And she
Speaker:goes, what's the big deal? I started crying and it was like a trigger. And
Speaker:she was mortified and I felt bad, but I was like, I still can't do
Speaker:that. I'm like, no, I'm like, I'm like, I've done a lot of things in
Speaker:the three years, but that's something I haven't done. And I don't know
Speaker:if I want to. You know, there's other places that we've been to. Like
Speaker:the last trip we went on, I don't know if I'll be able to go
Speaker:back there. I mean, I could force myself, but it's a melt me and him
Speaker:had, you know what I mean? In time, in time. And
Speaker:there's no, there's never any rush for it. And that kind of brings me on
Speaker:to another subject that I think.
Speaker:That. I think is important as well. And I think you had mentioned this before,
Speaker:in our community, your loved ones,
Speaker:belongings, right? People
Speaker:are misunderstand. They think it's just
Speaker:things just give it away. And there's an element of truth where
Speaker:when you give things away, as I
Speaker:mentioned, in our community, you give it away with purpose to people that will
Speaker:love it and cherish it. But some people don't understand things and like
Speaker:just give it away to charity or whatever else, or just get rid of this
Speaker:stuff because it triggers you. And since
Speaker:with all the losses that I've had and even recently, my
Speaker:wife is like, I've got this. I can't give it away. And I totally understand
Speaker:that. You don't have to. And they'll come a time. How did you
Speaker:cope with that part of your journey? Because obviously there's many things
Speaker:in your life and didn't you make stuff at
Speaker:one point? Yes. So in the very beginning, like that first
Speaker:year, I started with his clothes and
Speaker:you know, he was always very careful with his clothes. He took good care of
Speaker:them. And I wanted people to have a memory of remembering him when he
Speaker:wore certain things. So I had made pillows out of his shirts.
Speaker:That's what I was getting at. I remember it was amazing. I had pillows, I
Speaker:remember that. And I gave it to certain people that remember that shirt, you
Speaker:know what I mean? Like his friends, we were at their daughter's wedding, wedding. So
Speaker:I gave them that pillow with that shirt. They have that at their beach house.
Speaker:I give other people other clothes that would remember him. So
Speaker:I kind of honored him that way and gave it to certain people.
Speaker:I made little. I had little bags made out of like shorts of his, like
Speaker:makeup. I remember that because I said. Because it was one
Speaker:of the things I think I had done a. An episode or a lesson
Speaker:about when you get rid of things to make it mean something.
Speaker:And you came in with all this. I've got these and I've got this. I
Speaker:did this. I put pillows out. And I thought, you know what? That is absolutely
Speaker:amazing. And anybody who's listening out there, take
Speaker:a leaf out of what Denise did. You don't need to be frightened of that.
Speaker:You can think of so many creative ways to
Speaker:honor your loved one. And that's a phenomenal way,
Speaker:right? I mean, they even have those blankets, those
Speaker:memory blankets. You could get the T shirts and cut them up and make like
Speaker:the memory blankets out of them. We actually did one together before he
Speaker:passed away that last summer. And we took all our T shirts from years
Speaker:of like different trips we went on and different things to remember.
Speaker:So I have that. And I also made one of his leftover T shirts for
Speaker:his mother after he passed and gave her a blanket, like made out of all
Speaker:his T shirts. Do you know what? That's. I think that's
Speaker:amazing. There was, I'll tell you a little story, but one time, not
Speaker:about giving in the way, but it's a really. I was doing a reading for
Speaker:someone in Wales and I was sitting on a chair,
Speaker:but the chair had something underneath it that was like kind of box. It was
Speaker:a bit weird. And I kept on saying,
Speaker:I said, he keeps talking about this chair that I'm sitting on, this chair.
Speaker:There's something under here that belongs to him. She said, yeah, it's his ashes. Well,
Speaker:I totally freed him because I was sitting on his ashes.
Speaker:That's got like. That's really, really weird. These
Speaker:are stories that mean something. They're funny. And it's,
Speaker:you know, having some of these ashes. And you know, one of the things
Speaker:that my mother in law said to me before she passed,
Speaker:that any ashes that we had she wanted to go down and scatter them near
Speaker:the bay, but it had to be a windy day, so that blew back in
Speaker:everybody's face. So I. So
Speaker:I think it's important to share funny moments and things
Speaker:like that and memorialize people in many ways. And what you've done
Speaker:with all the stuff that Jeff had that you've
Speaker:made, people will cherish them and I think that's something that people
Speaker:can learn from. But you did something else really,
Speaker:really unusual. Tell us about that.
Speaker:What, what's the other thing I did? You created your book.
Speaker:Oh, my book. Yeah. So I went to his desk one day,
Speaker:looked in the drawer and he had a list of part time jobs, I
Speaker:guess after he retired. And one of them was a part
Speaker:time children's book author. And he had the idea
Speaker:of, you know, when children are sitting in the house now, just
Speaker:working on the video games and not playing outside like he did.
Speaker:So I honored him with the book, with this book.
Speaker:Bring it up close to your camera so we can see it. What's this called?
Speaker:What's it called? It's called the Adventures of Jeffrey and. Friends and it's
Speaker:on Amazon. And I created this book for
Speaker:him, but I honored his two brothers and his friends that
Speaker:he was very close to and they are in the book.
Speaker:So I presented each one after the book was done.
Speaker:You know, I surprised them with the book and they all have this book
Speaker:and they're all with him, you know,
Speaker:doing adventures together, like what he used to do when he grew up,
Speaker:kickball and, you know, manhunt and
Speaker:making memories together. And actually he was a big memory
Speaker:person. Yeah, I did this in his honor.
Speaker:And how did you put it together, Denise? Because it's, I mean, that's a lot
Speaker:of work to do. But I know I've written books.
Speaker:I just, I just like thought about him, you know,
Speaker:exactly what he would do and with his friends and,
Speaker:you know, each person I was had in my mind like what they
Speaker:would do and I don't know, I just took notes and it came
Speaker:together. It helped. You didn't. He was helping you.
Speaker:Absolutely. Now when obviously
Speaker:did you get hired an artist or someone to do it or.
Speaker:It was just a company that I worked with. So they did, they did
Speaker:the, the art and the publishing and it's on Amazon now.
Speaker:So yeah, I was excited. How was that for you? How was
Speaker:that for you? I mean, it's very cathartic to do something like that. But do
Speaker:you think a project like that was
Speaker:very healing for you? Like how did it help
Speaker:you to do that? It helped me because
Speaker:it's something that he wanted to accomplish, so I kind of did it
Speaker:for him. And, you know, I wanted to make him proud still.
Speaker:So it was something, an accomplishment that I carried out for him
Speaker:as well as me. And it was something I wanted to
Speaker:honor him with, and I wanted to kind of incorporate his brothers and
Speaker:his friends in something. Oh, my God, I
Speaker:bet you honestly, to be a fly on the wall when you gave it, you
Speaker:gave that book to them. I know one of them, his really good friend got
Speaker:upset and, you know, obviously. Yeah,
Speaker:yeah, because they weren't expecting it. You know, it just came, got delivered from
Speaker:Amazon and I explained what I did. They didn't know ahead of time,
Speaker:so it was something that I just given each one of them.
Speaker:No, it's a children's book. It's in Memory Jeff. But I have
Speaker:a funny feeling that adults are going to enjoy reading
Speaker:it as well, because there's an
Speaker:immense amount of energy and compassion and
Speaker:love, not just for a child, but for anybody. Who'S lost
Speaker:somebody that's from how we were years ago. You know what I mean? Like
Speaker:how the memories matter and the friends matter,
Speaker:you know, not just sitting home by yourself and working on the video
Speaker:games or being by yourself. It's about people and connection
Speaker:and being there for each other. And so I think
Speaker:adults would enjoy it, too. I understand the grief journey.
Speaker:I understand what you go through, the spiritual
Speaker:crisis or even in development, spiritual development.
Speaker:And so if you've got a question about grief, about
Speaker:spiritual crisis, about spiritual development, then ask those
Speaker:questions below, and I will answer them to the best of my knowledge
Speaker:and experience. I will answer every question. And if you are
Speaker:looking for more support on your grief journey, then I invite you to join
Speaker:my private community. You'll find that link below.
Speaker:And if you want to work with me personally, one to one, then
Speaker:you can also do that. And that link is also below.
Speaker:God bless. What has been the greatest thing that Jeff taught you
Speaker:in your life? The greatest thing would be
Speaker:family is very important, and the people connection
Speaker:and helping others. That was always something that he
Speaker:believed in, and he did. Everybody loved him,
Speaker:and I just want to carry that out for him and be like an
Speaker:extension of him, you know, and for the rest of my life,
Speaker:try to be the best person that I can be for other people
Speaker:and help them be here for our sons. And
Speaker:I might even write a book for our sons and maybe one of our
Speaker:vacations or something like that, you know, like Put that in the book and honor
Speaker:them that way. But he was
Speaker:always a people person, and connection is, like, very important.
Speaker:I think it's brilliant. And the way that you've honoured your
Speaker:husband, the way that you carry on his memory, I think a lot of people
Speaker:can learn from that out there. They can learn
Speaker:that grief is not
Speaker:something everybody goes through. And it's not just
Speaker:about loss, about losing a loved one. It can be any kind of loss.
Speaker:But losing a loved one, losing someone as close to you is
Speaker:hard enough to deal with. But you're an example of how you
Speaker:can harness that grief
Speaker:and turn it around into something really positive. And I hope that
Speaker:anybody who listens to you today and anybody who can get a feel for you
Speaker:knows that you're always going to be on a grief
Speaker:journey. But it gets easier, and you can learn so much from it. As I
Speaker:always say, it can be your greatest nemesis or your greatest teacher is totally up
Speaker:to you. I think the ways in which you're honoring your husband
Speaker:is phenomenal. And I would urge anybody out there, what is it that you can
Speaker:do? What is it that your husband or your boyfriend or
Speaker:your friend, what did the love that you can carry on. And
Speaker:it's not always easy. You still have ups and downs.
Speaker:Yes, there's still ups and downs. There's triggers. You know,
Speaker:the physical part of him is not here, even though I feel
Speaker:the connection, you know, with him around. But,
Speaker:you know, it's just something you have to learn to live with and, you
Speaker:know, and get back into your life, you know, and start with happy things
Speaker:again and, you know, try to live like, you know, for them
Speaker:and do the best that you can and, you know, you still have a life
Speaker:here to live. Like, you know, we're here for a reason and, you
Speaker:know, you still have to live your life and be the best that you can
Speaker:and, you know, try to see what your purpose is and just carry
Speaker:on, but carry on for them and, you know, know that they are with you,
Speaker:like, all the time. That's awesome.
Speaker:Denise, thank you for being with me today on Telusa
Speaker:Grief. I think your words are beautiful. I think they're going to help
Speaker:so many people that are listening. And ladies and gentlemen, if you want
Speaker:to join, if you're out there in your grieving, you're on a journey, you want
Speaker:to join our community, then you can do so. There'll be a link in the
Speaker:description. And it doesn't matter if you're an adult
Speaker:and you could just buy this book just to
Speaker:make you smile. And if you've lost, no matter who you've lost in your
Speaker:life, yes, the book's about children, but there's probably a lot more
Speaker:in that book than meets the eye. It probably teaches
Speaker:you a lot more. Yeah, it teaches you a lot. And I would
Speaker:envisage, I would suggest anybody out there to go and
Speaker:click, get the link to the book and buy the
Speaker:book. I mean, it's on Amazon. How much is it?
Speaker:$15. $15 is nothing. $15 to make
Speaker:you smile is actually probably cheaper than going in for
Speaker:a couple of Starbucks, you know. So $15 to make you smile.
Speaker:Think about Jeff. Think about Denise. Think about how she
Speaker:carried on that memory. And then think about what you can do.
Speaker:Think about how you can carry on your loved one's memory. What is it that
Speaker:you can help someone else from and what
Speaker:can you do with their belongings? There's been some great
Speaker:information here today and Denise, I want to thank you for joining me. It's
Speaker:been fantastic. Thank you. And I can't wait to read your next
Speaker:book and whatever else you're doing and I can't wait to share this with
Speaker:the rest of the community as well. And I'm sure there's going to be lots
Speaker:and lots of people that are going to connect with you and
Speaker:hopefully get that book and share in your journey, your grief
Speaker:journey. It's hard to come on something like this and
Speaker:be raw and open and talk about your journey, but I think it's important
Speaker:because it's all very well, people who are considered experts been on. I think
Speaker:it's great to have you on and I thank you for sharing everything
Speaker:with this community and anybody who listens to it in the
Speaker:podcast. Thanks, Denise. If I can help one person, I mean, it would
Speaker:make me so happy. I said that's brilliant. Okay, God
Speaker:bless. Thank you. I know her grief and spiritual
Speaker:crisis can affect you. I've been on that
Speaker:journey for many, many years. And if you've got any
Speaker:questions about grief, about spiritual
Speaker:crisis, about spiritual development, then leave them below
Speaker:because I answer every question. And
Speaker:I invite you, if you would like support in your grief
Speaker:journey, to join my private community. You can find that link below.
Speaker:And if you want to work with me one to one, then you can also
Speaker:find that link below. Don't forget to subscribe to
Speaker:the channel and I look forward to connecting with you soon.
